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False Expectations Appearing Real

There are few of us, who escape feelings of fear and self-doubt as we go about our life. Not to worry! We can, easily, create within us a sense of confidence and peace of mind, as we face all situations.

As you can see by the title, I regard fear, as false expectations appearing real. Once you understand this, it is easy to push through the fear and self-doubt.

Here, then, are some tools, which will get past the false expectations appearing real.

Build your sense of trust in yourself. Your first task is to build the trust that whatever happens in your life, you can handle it all. Right now, think of something about any area of your life that is bothering you and repeat to yourself ten times the important words, "Whatever happens, I'll handle it." I suspect you will immediately begin to feel a sense of peace within your being. These are important words to have when the "what if's" come up. "What if I lose my job? I'll handle it." "What if I get sick? I'll handle it." "What if something happens to my marriage? I'll handle it." And what does "I'll handle it" mean? It means, "I'll learn from it. I'll grow from it. I'll make it a triumph!"

Do your very best, then let go of the outcome. In other words, "LET GO!" To help you let go, develop the trust that "It's all happening perfectly." This calming affirmation is a shortened version of: "I've done my best, but even if things don't go the way I want them to go, I will simply find a way to be enriched by whatever life brings me. I will learn and grow from it all. Therefore, it truly is all happening perfectly." Repetition over and over again of this wonderful affirmation, will definitely quiet the negative chatter of the mind and help you let go of the outcome. Peace at last!

Stop complaining. Complaining is a big clue that you are not taking responsibility for your experience of life. You are acting like a victim. Instead of seeing life’s obstacles as problems, see them as opportunities, opening the door to growth. When you can control your reactions to whatever life hands you, you have the upper hand. You now have a choice: You can create your own misery...or you can create your own sense of growth and wellbeing. That’s power! Every time you have the opportunity to stretch your capacity to handle the world around you, the more powerful and confident you will feel.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Often we think, “I’ll do it when I am not so afraid.” But in reality, it works the other way round. The “doing it” comes before the fear goes away. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. Action is the key. Once you have done something you have feared a number of times (which means more than once), guess what happens...the fear of that particular situation goes away.
It is then time to further expand the comfort zone and move on to the next situation, which you fear. This is called growth. As your confidence builds, it will become easier and easier to “feel the fear and do it anyway!”

When making decisions, adopt the “no-lose” philosophy. The “no-lose” philosophy tells us that “I can’t lose - regardless of the outcome of the decision I make. I look forward to the opportunities for learning and for growing that either choice gives me.” Remember, if you learn through your “mistakes,” there are no mistakes! In this way, the “no-lose” approach to decision-making guarantees that all your decisions will be the right decisions. Be awarre, that no decision is also a decision.

Know that you have value. Know that your presence makes a difference. If you don’t understand this very important fact, act as if you do make a difference! Continue asking yourself the “act-as-if” question in all areas of your life: “What would I be doing if I were really important here?” Make a list and then take action. Soon you will “live into” the realization that you really are important.

Commit 100% to all areas of your life. That means when you are at work or with your family and friends, or meeting new people, or volunteering in the community...or whatever...give it your all, holding nothing back. When you commit to giving 100%, your sense of focus, excitement, participation, enjoyment, fulfillment, and happiness come alive. What a glorious feeling that is!

Say “thank you” again and again. Saying “thank you”, expressing gratitude, makes important connections in all areas of your life. The words “thank you” can also help you appreciate and focus on all the good that is around you, thus helping you release any vestigal feelings of anger and resentment.

If you, step by step, incorporating into your life these tools, your sense of confidence and peace of mind will grow and grow. Remember: there is plenty of time...and now is definitely the time to begin.

Any questions??